Sudden Feelings
by Motimo
Summary: This is my first fanfic based off a omegle chat. The idea started off good and then I kind of lost it so, sorry for that.   John realizes he loves Sherlock, and doesn't know how to react. Thankfully, Sherlock comforts him.


John walked home in a slight drizzle that cast a big foggy haze over the neighborhood. He was almost home to 221B Baker Street when of course, Sherlock texted him.

John, we need milk. -SH

John huffed a bit.

Really Sherlock, I'm almost home! I'll just get some tomorrow. - JW

He thought about today's events. He broke it off with Jackie, again not being able to open up completely like his other relationships. It really was annoying to him, he enjoyed having someone that was more than a friend, someone who you could hug and honestly just talk to. But no such luck, as the more he started dating these women the shorter he had tolerance for it, but he just didn't know why.

He finally reached the door and with now numb hands due to the cold, he fumbled with the key, unlocked the door, and headed up to his very cluttered flat.

When he walked in he wasn't surprised, just agitated a little. An experiment on the kitchen counter had run over on to the floor, books and papers were strewn everywhere, and the source of all this chaos was just laying on the couch.

"BORED." was his immediate response to John walking into the door. "I need a case John! I am going absoultely mad. I have no experiments to think of at the moment due to the lack of milk!"

John paused at hearing that phrase, but continued taking off his now sodden coat and shoes.

"Sherlock, please say you never put chemicals or body parts in the milk and then _back_ into the fridge..."

"Don't be ridiculous. I poor some out and use that on my projects, thank you. I wouldn't put poisoned milk back in the fridge! Well, except that one time. No matter."

"Okay then Sherlock. Care for some tea?"

"Mmm." The detective hummed, which John took as a yes. He glanced over at Sherlock, noticing his eyes had slipped shut. Not knowing if he was in his mind palace or just sleeping, John continued to stare at his flat mate. He noticed how his chest rose and fell with every breath, how the light from the window illuminated his dark curly locks in every which way, and before he'd of course noticed those beautiful cold, icy eyes. John snapped out of his trance. What was he thinking?

His heart pounding, he headed to the kitchen, careful to step over the mess on the floor. As he stirred the bubbling hot tea, he thought again to himself. _'Why was I thinking those things about Sherlock? I've noticed that he's a handsome man but I'm straight so what does it matter? It couldn't possibly mean that I...I..' _his breath hitched at the thought. Once it entered his mind he couldn't shake it. He knew it was true. It was why his relationships with various ladies had been failing, why he had always had a sense of dread hanging about him. He knew it was why even though Sherlock did crazy things, dragged him into danger, and tore through the flat like a hurricane, he stayed. He loved the chaos and the messes and the danger. He tried to calm his heart but it only made it worse. _'That's it then. I love Sherlock Holmes.' _ The dread made sense now too. The one person he loved, he just couldn't have.

"John! What is taking so long with my tea!" Sherlock yelled from his postition on the couch.

John sighed. "Coming, Sherlock."

Sherlock of course noticed Doctor John Watson's acctions after recieving his tea. He watched the doctor sit down through one eye, and begain to observe. He didn't seem as mad as before which was unsual considering that he would usually rant about the mess Sherlock had made and demand him to help clean up. His pupils were dialated a bit, which was strange considering the amount of light pooring in from the window. He hadn't even touched his tea and his eyes were unfocused. Even though he held a newspaper in front of him, he wasn't reading it. Sherlock could tell. He had also been in the kitchen a long while, and while he was there the detective also thought he heard John's breathing become irregular for a moment. This was all very strange.

"John, what were you doing today?"

John snapped to attention the moment Sherlock spoke. Interesting, he quite liked how John gave him so much consideration all of the time. _'Wait what?' _ Sherlock, was surprised at this sudden thought popping into his complicated mind. John was just his flatmate, his friend, what was that supposed to mean? He quickly ignored the momentary confusion and listened to John.

"I um...I broke up with Jackie. Wasn't feeling it." The frazzled doctor replied.

"Oh, sorry to hear. Which one was she again?" Sherlock couldn't help but feel happy at this thought. Again, finally, no women to get in his way of Jo- _'What the hell am I thinking?" _He shuddered. What were these _feelings_ doing inside his mind and his heart? They were not welcome, but he couldn't help but ignore the warmth he felt after glancing at John again.

"No matter, I guess I never really liked her anyway. I'm fine really." His voice broke on the last sentence and again Sherlock was deducing like a mad man.

He doesn't seem to care about the break up, as he continues to glance at the newspaper and back at me. He didn't describe her at all, or tear up at the thought of it, so for sure he broke up with her and that in itself stated that he wasn't interested. But he certainly wasn't _fine. _He had choked a bit as he said the last sentence and moved the paper closer to his face, blocking Sherlock's view of it completely. '_Ah, so he's tearing up.'_ Sherlock thought. That realization troubled Sherlock. His stomach turned and he felt rage at who would do this to his friend. He stood up from the couch and walked over to stand in front of John.

"John. What is troubling you?"

"Nothing, Sherlock."

"You're lying to me."

"So what if I am?"

"Who is doing this to you? Who is making you feel upset? Why are you troubled?" Sherlock was suddenly anxious to know, anxious to mend his broken friend.

"Sherlock, who ever said it was a 'who'?"

"I did and now you've just admitted it to me. See, your mind isn't as focused. Usually you don't fall for my tricks so easily."

"Go away, Sherlock." the doctor replied angrily. Sherlock ripped the paper from out of his flatmate's hands, seeing how flushed John had become.

"Tell me."

"Sherlock it doesn't matter okay! It won't ever matter!" he snapped, really angered now. Sherlock felt a little hurt at the sudden yelling, but if he wanted to get heated he would.

"Who is doing this to you? And what is it about them that is just making you oh so FRUSTURATED?" he retorted.

"I just realized I really like this person okay? I figured out why my love life is failing. It's just exasperating okay Sherlock?" John stood up abruptly,

"Ah, but see you don't only like this person do you, John?" Sherlock replied, right in John's face.

"No." The quiet but stern word seemed to be more fierce then the shouting that had occured before. What was Sherlock getting into?

"No." He said. No, he didn't just like this person, he loved him. John had gotten so angry at his feelings that for a moment all he wanted to do was take it out on Sherlock.

"I see. Who is she? I demand to know who is hurting you so much. She's not worth it John." Sherlock said, staring him straight in the face. John was warmed a bit by the sudden outburst, as it seemed so unlike the sociopath's normal behavior. _'Is it possible he likes me too?' _John shook his head. Surely the detective only thought of him as friends.

"They aren't hurting me, Sherlock. I'm hurting myself." His breath caught, and felt his face begin to heat up, and his eyes begin to water. Great.

"Well, John, how are you even doing so? Just tell me who she is? Who is this girl you love, hmm?" Sherlock pushed even further.

"I don't love _her!"_ John blurted. What has he done. That was all it would take for Sherlock to deduce and find out everything. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't.

"Ah. I see. So, John, who is he then?" Sherlock still inquired, his eyes bright for a reason John couldn't place. He felt mad all of a sudden. It was too late to go back anyway, why not just shove all of his feelings in the consulting detective's face? He stepped closer to Sherlock, and spoke in his face, wanted him to feel his anger.

"Oh surely you can figure it out. Why don't you just observe Sherlock? Hmm? I've only come to this realization today but it's always been there. What do you notice about the girls I've been with hmm? That should get you _started_." He spat the last word, lacing it with as much venom as he could, and stepped away from Sherlock Holmes, watching him.

He could only do as John asked. He started thinking. All of these girls had something in common, which had made John realize his feelings for this mystery man had been there all along. Immediately Sherlock thought of the hair. It had always been very dark, and some had even had curly hair. What else, what else? Ah, they were always taller than John, having a somewhat athletic build to them, but not to muscly. John never dated stupid women either, well, to Sherlock he thought all of them were stupid no matter what for occupying John's time when he wanted it, but literally, they were usually a bit smart. He turned to John.

"These women have always been taller than you, and somewhat athletic and strong. You were never interested in women with no intellect whatsoever, so they were always smart. Ish. They also always had very dark hair, and was sometimes curly. Am I correct, John?" he asked.

"Yes. Yes, you are. Now do you know? Hmm?" Why was John so angry? Why was he crying?

"John...why are you crying?"

"Why do you think Sherlock! I've messed up everything!" he started to storm off to his room but Sherlock grabbed him by the wrist pulling him back to him.

"Messed up what exactly? Why are you being so stupid, letting yourself get so worked up for this one measly person?" Sherlock said, never taking his eyes away from John.

"Well, me and this person can never be together. If he finds out I'll ruin our friendship. Obviously we can only stay friends and I can't have him."

"Don't be daft John. I-I'm sure things will work out..." Sherlock's brain was muddled by confusion.

"You still don't know do you? Look me in the face and tell me you don't know." He grabs Sherlock, pulls him close and stars into his eyes. Sherlock does as he says and looks. Suddenly he's hit with an idea so powerful he gasps.

"John..."

"There you have it. Now you know. Happy?" He then turns and goes up to his room, slamming the door. Sherlock goes to his own room pondering.

'_So this is why he is so flustered...he must've come to this certain...realization when he was in the kitchen, it explains all the strangeness after giving me my tea. But why is he so angry? Why does he think he's ruined everything?' _ Sherlock, can't think clearly and lays on his bed. So he was the person John had fallen for. Sherlock wasn't appalled by these feelings, and realized he had feelings of his own for John.

Sherlock chokes on his breath for a moment. He was the person who was hurting John so much. Of course, John would think he's made our friendship awkward, because I'm the sociopath. With no feelings. He had made John think he'd never get to be with the person he loved the most. He had messed up John. He had given him pain. Sherlock scrambles to get his phone and hears John trying to keep his crying quiet upstairs. _'What have I done?' _he thinks. He proceeds to text John, unsure of what's to happen next.

John. I'm sorry. - SH

He soon feels a slight vibration, and checks his phone.

For what? You've done nothing. I shouldn't have gotten in your face like that. I just, had a moment and took my anger out on you...I'm sorry. Just forget everything that happened..- JW

How do you think I'm forgetting that? - SH

He walks upstairs and silently as he can muster, and stands outside of John' s room.

Please, Sherlock. Just delete it. - JW

Why should I do that? - SH

Because it doesn't matter okay? - JW

It does matter, John. I need to say I'm sorry again. I've invaded your life and I'm sorry. I never meant for you to feel this way, so full of pain. - SH

He again hears a sob escape from John and sighs.

No, I wouldn't take back any of our time together for the world. You're my best friend. This...this isn't your fault. And I know you're out there. - JW

Can I come in? - SH

I suppose. I have nothing to lose now. God, I'm an idiot. - JW

"No you aren't John." He enters the room and sees the doctor sitting on his bed, head in his hands. He sits beside him. " Why do you feel that you've ruined everything? I shouldn't have gotten in your face as well. "

"Well, I just yelled at you because I'm mad at my own self and I don't want to ruin our relationship as friends, but here I've gone and just destroyed it."

Sherlock chuckles at this nonsense.

"Why are you laughing?" John looks up, his face red and his eyes swollen. The sight made Sherlock's heart hurt.

"Because you are being quite dramatic, John," he says as he puts a hand lovingly on John's back, "and it is not needed. I myself couldn't figure out what was going on with you earlier, what with the spacy-ness and the outburst. But I understand. Mad at feelings and the only person to take it out on was me. I didn't really know what you were hinting at until you told me to look into your eyes. The realization hit and I just..got bombarded by all of these 'feelings' I guess you could say. It wasn't familiar so I was shocked, yes. But then I thought some more, and I was very happy at what I'd found out. Until I realized I had been the one hurting you so much. You see John, this isn't a one-sided thing." Sherlock stated.

John couldn't breath. He felt Sherlock's hand rubbing his back, waiting for him to speak.

"Oh. Um. Sherlock, do you really mean that? I feel foolish for overreatcting but I just..."

"Yes, I mean it John. I understand, no need to dwell on it much longer. I am sorry, but I guess we're both past what just occured. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. I'm much better now." He turned to face Sherlock, and was surprised when he felt long arms curl around his torso and squeeze him tightly. He returned the hug without hesitation, finally feeling safe and content. Yes, all of this had just happened so fast today, but he was glad. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his whole being.

"I-I love you Sherlock." he stuttered, still not sure at the words and how his detective would react.

"I love you too John." Sherlock replied.


End file.
